Do as I say, not as I do!

For this week’s blog, I have chosen to talk about “do as I say, not as I do”. Why would I talk about something as trivial as this? Isn’t this what we have repeatedly heard growing up? The reason I will talk about it is because this simple phrase is in the back of all our minds and I’m pretty sure that we have all let it slip out of our mouths from time to time, especially if you have children. One would think that as we grew up that this practice would stop. This is far from true and I contend that this belief and culture is alive and well.

No matter where you work, as long as it is a traditional and on the level form of employment, there are rules that are set in place that guide and inform us of behavior that will and will not be considered appropriate for that workspace. These rules are usually called law, policies, procedures, general orders and code of ethics. Although nobody truly likes to be told what to do, all of these rules were created due to the simple fact that at some point in time an individual actually committed the now prohibited action. As we all know, there will never be an end to new rules as they are constantly being created.

I have no problem with rules because they give us boundaries in which we can lead fulfilled lives. In my opinion, everybody has to have boundaries and rules or else there would be chaos and no structure to life. With that said, can you remember the last time somebody told you “do as I say, not as I do?” How did that make you feel? From my personal experience, it simply angered me. Then I began to question what has going on. How did we evolve into a culture that allows specified individuals to get away with breaking the rules while the rest of us are held to the limits of those same rules?

Living our lives by this phrase causes several problems. In the home atmosphere, how can children understand what following the rules truly means if you aren’t obeying them yourself? By conducting ourselves in this manner, we are teaching our children bad habits and that rules are meant for some people and not others. This then leads to discipline issues. How can you discipline your child for doing the same thing you did? If you do in fact discipline your child after they mimicked your actions, it is simply wrong and you are losing trust and credibility with your children. This also confuses them thereby keeping them in the dark as to what is truly appropriate and acceptable behavior.

Eventually this type of behavior will lead to confrontation by your children. They will begin to challenge you and perhaps even call you out on your unethical behavior. Obviously this is never good as it usually never ends well. When this type of behavior occurs the dynamics of your relationship with your children will be forever changed and not for the good.

When this saying is used in the workplace, the affects could be even more severe than in your personal life. As you can see there will be the same types of problems in this environment but with different dynamics at work. In the work environment, if you are the supervisor using this tactic, you are first and foremost not a leader. You simply are abusing the power that was bestowed upon you. Your subordinates will not trust you and may simply label you as lazy. If you do not believe that co-workers will talk about you then you must be an ostrich. In this environment, even subordinates can do something about your behavior unlike in your personal life. I know that subordinates will only take so much rule bending before they get tired of it and then begin complaining about your actions. Once you are labeled, your reputation is destroyed and you lose all credibility with subordinates. Even if you are their direct supervisor they will go to other supervisors for their input instead of you. Eventually they will file formal complaints then the investigation begins and the results are tallied up. If you are found to be negligent then the punishment could be anywhere from counseling, reprimand, suspension or termination. I do not know how you can earn a person’s respect and trust once going down this path. As a supervisor you are not entitled to anything and you should be first in line and show everybody that you follow all rules, not just the ones you agree with.

All in all, this phrase is nothing more than a fancy way of talking about hypocrisy. It seems like every day the news is filled with politicians saying one thing and turning around and doing another. In order to be respected you must “talk the talk and walk the walk”.  A classic example of this is look at how the democrats and republicans blame each other for doing the same things. Or maybe how Hilary Clinton is above the rules and uses her personal email to conduct National business.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/03/us/politics/hillary-clintons-use-of-private-email-at-state-department-raises-flags.html?_r=0

http://gizmodo.com/hillary-clinton-also-ran-her-own-email-server-as-secret-1689373610

 

 For these people they think the rules do not apply to them, but they would be quick to call for your head on a silver platter. In order to stop this behavior, punish those that do it and simply do the right thing each day. Ask yourself, would I be ashamed if my actions made the news? If you squirm, then do not do it.

True leadership needs a boost in today’s society. We all need to stop letting those that we put in power get away with the antic they perform. Enough is enough, be a positive force for change and act in an ethical and moral manner. Be willing to be seen by others for doing the right thing!